Originally I was planning on doing a weekly update/ weekly review post, but I am not in the mood to put in words what was going. I was working a lot, away from home a lot, away from my loved ones and a lot has changed. I experienced a lot of luck and happiness but also pain.
Those, who follow me on Instagram, know, that I am not always the happy-high-life-making-fun kind of person. And that’s okay! That’s life. And sometimes life can suck. I don’t want to say, that life is shit all the time and that we should feel bad the whole time. That’s not my point. Life’s good. We all just have this one life and should appreciate every second of it. But at the same time it is okay to feel bad sometimes. Isn’t it all about balance? How should I feel joy and happiness when I never experienced pain? How should I appreciate what I have, when I don’t know how it feels without it? Negative emotions belong into our lives just as the positive and good ones. At least that’s what I think.
Anyway, I still think that our thoughts control us. Not in a way like “if I believe in this or that, it will come true”. No. More in a way that our thoughts control how we act. When I think, that I will be really bad in one thing and that I will fail, I probably will fail. But when I think, that I am good in something or that I will be able to conquer the situation. What do you think will happen?
Don’t take me as a role model. I am struggling a lot and I don’t like people who think they know it all and have to tell you all the time. I just want to talk a bit about my situation and that it’s okay to not feel okay all the time. Even though it’s not okay to feel bad all the time. Balance!
Maybe I will tell you at some point what is going on right now, but some things are too private and some other things just hurt too much to talk about at the moment and I hope that things will turn out good in the end.
I am really lucky to have great friends and family who are always there for me. But what I wanted to say about this is, that we can choose who we want to be friends with. I chose my friends consciously. I don’t need People, who are not good for me or who I just don’t feel connected to. I don’t want fake (in no situation). I want real, honest and open friends. “Bye” to all the others.
I had to deal with both this year. With people who I thought were my friends but in the end were not. At the beginning it really hurt, almost like a breakup, but the longer I was apart from these people the more I realized that I don’t like them that much either. Don’t think that saying “goodbye” to people, who don’t fit into your life is easy. But in the end you’ll know that it’s better or at least it’s not the end of the world. On the other hand I experienced new friendships or older ones that became very very close. And to all of those, who can call themselves my friend 😀 , I love you, I am thankful that I have you, I am there for you and most important I am always honest with you <3
Besides a good background of people that I love, I try to find positivity and happiness in myself and with myself. If this means that I want to get drunk with people on a friday night that is totally okay. I am grown up. If this means that I want to stay home alone, burn some candels and watch Netflix all night. That’s okay, too. I do what makes me happy (after the work is done of course). And this is how I find my balance. I love cosy evenings alone or with someone. I also love having drinks in the city. Or a photo shoot with a friend. Or shopping. And of course always coffee.
Sorry, the text is a bit spontaneous and not in order. I just wanted to write down some of the things that I am thinking about. Feel free to give me feedback about a random post like this and the things I talked about <3
hat | Zara
coat | Monki
turtle neck sweater | Primark
shirt | Vintage
jeans | “Oki” Monki
rings | Spinning Jewelry
earrings | Primark
glasses | Romwe*
bag | Romwe*
shoes | Varese by Roland Schuhe*
* the products were sent to me for free as pr samples. I am not getting paid for this posting.